LESSON 69
My grievances hide the light of the world in me.
No one can look upon what your grievances conceal. Because your grievances are hiding the light of the world in you, everyone stands in darkness, and you beside him. But as the veil of your grievances is lifted, you are released with him. Share your salvation now with him who stood beside you when you were in hell. He is your brother in the light of the world that saves you both.
Today let us make another real attempt to reach the light in you. Before we undertake this in our more extended practice period, let us devote several minutes to thinking about what we are trying to do. We are literally attempting to get in touch with the salvation of the world. We are trying to see past the veil of darkness that keeps it concealed. We are trying to let the veil be lifted, and to see the tears of God's Son disappear in the sunlight.
Let us begin our longer practice period today with the full realization that this is so, and with real determination to reach what is dearer to us than all else. Salvation is our only need. There is no other purpose here, and no other function to fulfill. Learning salvation is our only goal. Let us end the ancient search today by finding the light in us, and holding it up for everyone who searches with us to look upon and rejoice.
Very quietly now, with your eyes closed, try to let go of all the content that generally occupies your consciousness. Think of your mind as a vast circle, surrounded by a layer of heavy, dark clouds. You can see only the clouds because you seem to be standing outside the circle and quite apart from it.
From where you stand, you can see no reason to believe there is a brilliant light hidden by the clouds. The clouds seem to be the only reality. They seem to be all there is to see. Therefore, you do not attempt to go through them and past them, which is the only way in which you would be really convinced of their lack of substance. We will make this attempt today.
After you have thought about the importance of what you are trying to do for yourself and the world, try to settle down in perfect stillness, remembering only how much you want to reach the light in you today,–now! Determine to go past the clouds. Reach out and touch them in your mind. Brush them aside with your hand; feel them resting on your cheeks and forehead and eyelids as you go through them. Go on; clouds cannot stop you.
If you are doing the exercises properly, you will begin to feel a sense of being lifted up and carried ahead. Your little effort and small determination call on the power of the universe to help you, and God Himself will raise you from darkness into light. You are in accord with His Will. You cannot fail because your will is His.
Have confidence in your Father today, and be certain that He has heard you and answered you. You may not recognize His answer yet, but you can indeed be sure that it is given you and you will yet receive it. Try, as you attempt to go through the clouds to the light, to hold this confidence in your mind. Try to remember that you are at last joining your will to God's. Try to keep the thought clearly in mind that what you undertake with God must succeed. 6 Then let the power of God work in you and through you, that His Will and yours be done.
In the shorter practice periods, which you will want to do as often as possible in view of the importance of today's idea to you and your happiness, remind yourself that your grievances are hiding the light of the world from your awareness. Remind yourself also that you are not searching for it alone, and that you do know where to look for it. Say, then:
My grievances hide the light of the world in me. 5 I cannot see what I have hidden. 6 Yet I want to let it be revealed to me, for my salvation and the salvation of the world.
Also, be sure to tell yourself:
If I hold this grievance the light of the world will be hidden from me,
if you are tempted to hold anything against anyone today.
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Lesson 69
“My grievances hide the light of the world in me.”
Making separation real hides the Light of our oneness from my awareness. Making separation real is a grievance, symbolized by the clouds. If I focus on the clouds, I do not see past them. If I am willing to pass by the clouds and be led to the Light, the Light is what I will find.
This is my most important function, my only function. I need to hear the truth about myself and see past the veil of darkness that keeps the Light concealed as frequently as possible. As I accept the Light, I remember that all is well and there are no problems, only healing solutions. There is no mad dash to accomplish this or that out of a sense of lack.
In this Light, I feel carried. What seemed complicated before becomes simple. My priorities get rearranged. Only Love matters. Only what God created matters, because only what God created is real. The stillness in God’s Light is like healing balm to my mind. I am willing to rest in God’s Light today and let all my false ideas, my grievances, disappear in the Light of God. I am willing to remember that in reality, I rest in God.
If something stands between me and the Light, I cannot see the Light. I am in the shadows. Grievances stand between me and the Light that is the truth of What I am. When I hold grievances, I believe I am in the shadows, in darkness. The “larger” and more intense my belief is in the grievance, the darker it appears to be. My vision is more and more obscured. The deeper the shadow, the more likely I am to make up images to fill the shadows. Fear grows and the Light seems more and more distant, less and less real. It is a self feeding cycle of image making and fear.
All this is the effect of a single grievance of not being satisfied with God’s gift of all His Love, all of Himself. Yet, as dark as it may seem, there is no more substance to what stands between me and the Light than clouds of mist. I reach out my hand to touch the cloud and it offers no resistance. I can pass through it without effort. All that holds me back is fear of not knowing what lies beyond the clouds. I imagine all kinds of images to fill that seeming unknown. Being based on the past and the belief in separation, these images are fearful. But they are not true.
Gratefully I have been given a Guide Who knows the way through the clouds, Who knows that what lies beyond the clouds is joy, complete serenity and limitless Love. This Guide does not believe the images I make up in my mind. I take His hand, which He offers with gentleness and compassion. I feel Its strength and support. I don’t feel so alone. I have a Friend Who knows the way through the veil of fear. As I hold His hand, He gently, patiently guides me through the mist. The darkness fades and the Light grows stronger.
I feel joy welling up in my heart. My reluctance to follow diminishes and I become more and more eager to follow His lead and to walk beside Him in confidence. The clouds seem to close in behind me as I reach toward the Light. Yet what is really happening is that the clouds are being recognized for the nothingness that they are. They no longer have any power over me. They are behind me and forgotten. I have reached the Light where I know my perfect safety and there I meet my brother, who is one with me. We join in the Light and our hearts sing with joy, for together, we are free. In great gratitude we embrace the Light and feel its loving embrace. We are Home.
When I did the lesson I experienced the sense of being lifted up and carried ahead. I could see the many grievances rush by me. Then I kind of panicked. It all seemed to be happening so fast. Things slowed down and I thought about what I wanted. I started moving forward again and noticed that when I thought about some things, like war, the clouds seemed darker and thicker. But still, no more substantial. Finally, I felt I was near the border between the clouds and the light and felt stuck. I don't know if I have ever been completely free of grievances and couldn't imagine what to expect.
I imagined Jesus holding my hand and being surrounded by angels. When I finally stepped into the circle of light, I saw so many of those I held grievances against come join me in the light. I don't know how to describe what that felt like. I still feel like the day is brighter, the world more beautiful. I feel light and free. It's amazing!
As I moved through the clouds of my own mind, I was aware that my ego created them. I had brief periods of light and then back to clouds. I came to the place where clouds were fewer and smaller. Then I was altogether in the Light. I heard the words "I am Light in the Light." I felt healed. I felt safe. I could see that the Light is shining on me even when I am in the clouds, but I am not aware and so the Light cannot shine through me. Light wants to shine through me.
If we keep moving through ego resistance, we do get to the Light. Clouds are only clouds, and we can begin to move through them more easily because we prefer to be in the Light. We choose Light over ego. All are in the Light with me, but I must be in the Light to see this. The only freedom is in the Light. Ego is like a prison. Only Love heals. Love loves all.
I prefer the Light. I prefer freedom. I choose the Light today. I choose to let It shine through me to see my brothers and sisters with me.
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