I am determined to see.
We have been quite casual about our practice periods thus far. There has been virtually no attempt to direct the time for undertaking them, minimal effort has been required, and not even active cooperation and interest have been asked. This approach has been intentional, and very carefully planned. We have not lost sight of the crucial importance of the reversal of your thinking. The salvation of the world depends on it. Yet you will not see if you regard yourself as being coerced, and if you give in to resentment and opposition.
This is our first attempt to introduce structure. Do not misconstrue it as an effort to exert force or pressure. You want salvation. You want to be happy. You want peace. You do not have them now, because your mind is totally undisciplined, and you cannot distinguish between joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, love and fear. You are now learning how to tell them apart. 8 And great indeed will be your reward.
Your decision to see is all that vision requires. What you want is yours. Do not mistake the little effort that is asked of you for an indication that our goal is of little worth. Can the salvation of the world be a trivial purpose? And can the world be saved if you are not? God has one Son, and he is the resurrection and the life. His will is done because all power is given him in Heaven and on earth. 8 In your determination to see is vision given you.
The exercises for today consist in reminding yourself throughout the day that you want to see. Today's idea also tacitly implies the recognition that you do not see now. Therefore, as you repeat the idea, you are stating that you are determined to change your present state for a better one, and one you really want.
Repeat today's idea slowly and positively at least twice an hour today, attempting to do so every half hour. Do not be distressed if you forget to do so, but make a real effort to remember. The extra repetitions should be applied to any situation, person or event that upsets you. You can see them differently, and you will. What you desire you will see. Such is the real law of cause and effect as it operates in the world.
“I am determined to see.”
Seeing with Christ’s vision is the opposite of believing what the body’s eyes are showing me. Seeing with Christ’s vision is recognizing that everyone is still as God created them. With Christ’s vision there is no separation, no differences, no guilt of any kind. There is only oneness with God’s universal Love. This Love is constant and so there is no change. I am determined to see means I am determined to see with Christ’s vision. It means I am determined to recognize the truth. I am determined to let go of the ego’s false stories.
This lesson is working with my willingness to see the truth. As my willingness grows, my seeing with Christ’s vision grows. Jesus is getting at the core of my awakening. Jesus knows that it is my willingness to see that allows me to see. There is nothing outside me that bars my seeing the truth. What I see comes from my mind. Seeing with Christ’s vision comes with my determination to see the truth. I am willing to practice today. Seeing with Christ’ vision is important. I am willing to practice every half hour. This helps bring me back to what is truly important to my awakening.
Being determined implies a singleness of purpose. My focus is clear and I will not let anything interfere with achieving my goal. Any seeming obstacles are not accepted as barriers, but are seen only as something to move past. There are many examples in my life where I was determined to reach a goal. When I was determined to get good grades in school, I got good grades. When I wasn’t determined, my grades were mediocre. When I was determined to attend a week-long program of spiritual growth, I did not allow any opinions of others or ideas of what I might lose if I went away for a week keep me from attending the program.
Whenever I have not had a fully committed determination to reach whatever my goal was, reaching the goal seemed difficult and sometimes I gave up. If my determination was very weak, I didn’t even try to reach the goal. I made up excuses and obstacles in my mind and believed them. This simple declaration, “I am determined to see,” is the declaration that I am not willing to believe in any obstacles and I want only that one goal.
At this stage, it is not important that I wholeheartedly embrace the statement without reservation. If I did, I would not need to affirm the statement all through the day. In giving this exercise the Course is recognizing that I am divided in my goals and I need to learn to focus my intent without reservation or distraction. This exercise starts me in that direction. I am grateful for the wisdom of the Course, which accepts me where I think I am and gives me the tools to help me go to where I truly want to be — at Home in the Heart of God.
The I Am has determined that I will see and so I shall because I, my True Self, already do see. There is a part of me that does not see. This is the part that I say today is determined to see. It is certain that I will see because God has already determined that this is so. As I come into alignment with God's Will through my conscious choice, I see that this is already my will. I see who I really am. When I determine with God to see what I already see, but kept hidden by ego thoughts, how can I fail? I cannot fail for God is determined with me. If I live in determination with God, how can anything be less than glorious.
I give to God my determination today. God walks with me wherever I go. God walks in determination with me and so the path is certain and sure and full of light. Holy Spirit helps me to see clearly on the lighted path. Help to see clearly is abundant. I need only be determined, all the rest will follow. The Son of God does not stumble in determination. The Son of God prevails.
I love the part in this lesson that states I will not see if I regard myself as being coerced, and if I give in to resentment and opposition.
When my daughter got married about 10 years ago; I begged her not to. I didn't like the man she was marrying and, sure enough, shortly after she married, she began having problems and would call me periodically to cry or complain about the man she married. But, fortunately, I decided to just love her and keep my doors open to her if she ever decided to leave him. Somehow I knew the decision to leave him would have to be hers because I didn't want her to throw that in my face years on down the line.
I believe that God is the same way. Because of the fact that he gives us free will, he allows us to "see" other ways of finding peace, but ultimately it has to be our decision to find it in Him. Today I am determined to see. I think I've always known in my heart there had to be something in this world other than what I was "seeing."
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